WOW!!! Have i been lazy!!! I havent written in about 2 weeks... Is there an excuse?? YES tons am I going to use any today HELL no!!! idk... one thing i do know is that writting this blog helps it really does help my head!! It took me sitting down with a friend and ranting *god bless her for listening* to realize i have to do things for my head to talk myself off my cliff.... i dont want to kill myself and i do want to make that clear even though no one really reads this thing but there are many days i just want to pack up and walk away with the boys... get out of this damn state change my name change my hair and start BRAND NEW but freaking a that is never going to happen or at least for another 13.5 years at minimum!! But i have to some how get out of this frame of mind!!! I didnt help i lost my job this weekend for no FUCKING reason other then FUCKING drama!!!!!! I know i dont normally cuss but geeeeezzzz im not going into the stupid details but it is the dumbest reason to get fired then i have ever heard of!!! W/E its W/E its giving me a new part time job start i have some interviews lined up for tomorrow and thursday so fingers crossed because i am not in a place to be without a job but w/e!!!1 God that should be the title of this post W/E lol..... SO i have started my diet for real on saturday which the scale said 191.4! so I stepped on that scale this morning and to my surprise it was 187.5 thats almost 4 pounds in 3 days i couldnt be happier!! So thanks to my very dear patient and kind friend she has helped me realize i need to make short term goals... as well as long term goals... my goal is to be 170 at least by the time we leave for vegas on april 10,,,,, thats 17.5 pounds in 7 weeks from tomorrow... that shouldnt be too hard right??? then i will have to decide the next goal once i reach that one!!! But then i was watching biggest loser tonight and i realized the contestants have been there 7 weeks and the person with the lowest weight loss has lost 52 pounds and im bitching about 17.5 I BETTER make this goal!!!!!! or im just worthless.... in the end and at the end of this journey i want to have lost a total of 51.4 pounds by January i know i can do this!! I want to be skinner and sexier and happy with who i see in the mirror!!! I HAVE a TON of changes to make to my life..... lets start with this one and go from there!!! I LOVE U J thank you so much for helping me this week you have no idea how much it means to me!!! ALSO YOUR HUSBAND IS GOING DOWN next time we get to play kinect!!! Anyway thats all for tonight im sleep deprived because my oldest has the flu and talks LOUDLY in his sleep in between coughing and snoring!! SO good night and until tomorrow!!!!!!
R
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